We are taught from early on to take others into account and not hurt one another which is very good thing to teach a child. However we are taught so much to focus on others that we completely lose our sense of self, our most natural state of “I am / I exist” or more accurately it gets distorted to match other people’s expectations of you. The “I am” becomes “I am daughter/husband/veteran/teacher/priest/doctor..” . It is simply never really taught to be selfish in a good way. We all know what the normal definition of selfish is: Someone who is using others to get what they think they need to feel fulfilled. They manipulate and fight for energy in forms like respectability, money, power. We all know this as selfishness so nobody wants to be selfish (or more honestly doesn’t want others to think that they are).
In fact everybody is selfish but they are completely denying and hiding that they are indeed manipulating other people to make themselves feel better, to fulfil their role, who they think they need to be in order to have love. Their whole focus is completely outside of themselves so they don’t even know any other way to live than to focus on helping and serving others in hopes that maybe some day someone will help and save them. This is the actual dis-ease that the whole humanity thinks the answers are outside of them. Whether in religions, green peace, science, society.. All eyes are fixed on the outside and everybody is sucking each others energy as a result.
I had a wonderful moment couple of days ago when it really crystallised for me and I saw how wonderful it can be when two people are completely selfish. They are completely just in their own energy and when they feel that the other is also just within themselves then there is a tremendous space, freedom and relaxation in the meeting that it can completely change their lives forever. One feels so utterly respected for the other does not expect anything, doesn’t want anything. Both just want to share because that’s what feels the most natural at the moment. Then the whole flow of energy is back to it’s natural state. Everything comes from within and moves outward. Everything you do has your own unique flavour. Before the energy was moving from the outside in but of course it was very limited and tight space to be in so there was not a lot of real power in anything you did. It was all based on misinformed assumptions on how energy works.
This is what true selfishness is. It not focus on the mind and the personality structure but a focus on the sense of “I am”. ONLY from that space can you truly be of ANY real service for another.
When I said that not caring can be the greatest gift to another, this is what I mean. We are no more obsessed about what is going on on the outside of ourselves and therefore the tensions of expectations and fears drop and there is no point to be anywhere than here and now. It is a state of not caring, not minding what happens, just in allowance of what is without any agenda. Everything is just fine as it is.
Funny enough but in this ultimate state of selfishness there is a great love, respect and gratefulness towards the other because you got received as you are and you got to create a beautiful moment together but without needing to compromise yourself in any way, there is no need to move outside but still everything flows to you.
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