Why not caring can be the greatest gift to another?

We are taught from early on to take others into account and not hurt one another which is very good thing to teach a child. However we are taught so much to focus on others that we completely lose our sense of self, our most natural state of “I am / I exist” or more accurately it gets distorted to match other people’s expectations of you. The “I am” becomes “I am daughter/husband/veteran/teacher/priest/doctor..” . It is simply never really taught to be selfish in a good way. We all know what the normal definition of selfish is: Someone who is using others to get what they think they need to feel fulfilled. They manipulate and fight for energy in forms like respectability, money, power. We all know this as selfishness so nobody wants to be selfish (or more honestly doesn’t want others to think that they are). 

In fact everybody is selfish but they are completely denying and hiding that they are indeed manipulating other people to make themselves feel better, to fulfil their role, who they think they need to be in order to have love. Their whole focus is completely outside of themselves so they don’t even know any other way to live than to focus on helping and serving others in hopes that maybe some day someone will help and save them. This is the actual dis-ease that the whole humanity thinks the answers are outside of them. Whether in religions, green peace, science, society.. All eyes are fixed on the outside and everybody is sucking each others energy as a result.

I had a wonderful moment couple of days ago when it really crystallised for me and I saw how wonderful it can be when two people are completely selfish. They are completely just in their own energy and when they feel that the other is also just within themselves then there is a tremendous space, freedom and relaxation in the meeting that it can completely change their lives forever. One feels so utterly respected for the other does not expect anything, doesn’t want anything. Both just want to share because that’s what feels the most natural at the moment. Then the whole flow of energy is back to it’s natural state. Everything comes from within and moves outward. Everything you do has your own unique flavour. Before the energy was moving from the outside in but of course it was very limited and tight space to be in so there was not a lot of real power in anything you did. It was all based on misinformed assumptions on how energy works.

This is what true selfishness is. It not focus on the mind and the personality structure but a focus on the sense of “I am”. ONLY from that space can you truly be of ANY real service for another.

When I said that not caring can be the greatest gift to another, this is what I mean. We are no more obsessed about what is going on on the outside of ourselves and therefore the tensions of expectations and fears drop and there is no point to be anywhere than here and now. It is a state of not caring, not minding what happens, just in allowance of what is without any agenda. Everything is just fine as it is.

Funny enough but in this ultimate state of selfishness there is a great love, respect and gratefulness towards the other because you got received as you are and you got to create a beautiful moment together but without needing to compromise yourself in any way, there is no need to move outside but still everything flows to you.

What happens when you look back in time?

Usually we tend to think in terms of linear time but a funny thing happens when you reach a certain point of awakening to your awareness. You look, let’s say, 1-2 years back and you feel into who you were back then and what was going on inside you; what were your beliefs, fears, relationships, how did you feel about your life in general… It may seem like that person is lifetimes away in the past. For myself I can say that this is exactly how I feel about myself 2 years ago. It might as well be 10 000 years ago because the things I’m attracted, the way I see myself, the kinds of people I have around me and the whole perspective has shifted. Then on the other hand you might remember something that happened to you when you were 7 years old and you remember it like it happened just now. Maybe you had a glimpse of the awareness that you have now. But what’s really going on?

We are not actually that linear. We are looking “back” from the current state of consciousness towards some other states or aspects of ourselves that we are used to think as the past but when the awakening process is at the point where the mind seems to be in a chaos and all the old patterns of thinking are shaken up then we begin to see that time is not that straight forward and fixed. 

Consciousness has created time to experience itself “evolving” or rather seeing itself in all the possible states and created a story called lifetime(s) to see itself go through different experiences and reflections of itself (God created human as his own image ..and you are god also).

Another way of putting it is that you have had different frequencies in your life that you have been tuned into very singularly and that frequency has attracted and manifested certain events to take place in your life. Then you move to the next frequency and create a different set of circumstances for yourself. When you take a conscious look into all the frequencies you have been through you realise that just because you have changed the channel doesn’t mean that the channel has stopped the broadcast. It just may feel a little distant for you because you are not so attracted to country music like you once were. You don’t choose it but you realise it’s all there.

All of those parts still exist even if you are not experiencing them in the physical at the moment and if you try and drop the idea of it being in the past then you realise how much layers and dimensions you contain inside and then you can choose what you prefer without ever being stuck in one particular role. Then it becomes much more fun :)