sunnuntai 16. lokakuuta 2016

The trap of figuring people out


Only a deeply insensitive person would ever try to analyse and figure out another person in order to "get" or "understand" them. 

I feel like there is a lot of categorising and judging going on and people coming forward with sentences starting with "I think you are [insert a type of a person]". Now, when I hear someone describing me to me it's an instant turnoff because when we translate it to english it sounds something like this: "I have reduced you into a concept so I can feel more comfortable in my own skin around you". It's very common to analyse ourselves and others in whichever way we have been taught: in social status, color of the skin, sex, psychology, bodytypes of various schools etc.  All of these forms of analysing can be helpful for some practical reasons but let's face it; most of the time we use them as tools to put someone in a box inside our mind in order to avoid just being there like a fool, not knowing who we are dealing with and feeling awkward about it.


Someone trying to figure me out is just insulting. I know that most people who are more extroverted and get their kicks from interactions with other people feel like there is some kind of a code to be cracked when they face a person who is not so much into that. They might feel like they've done something wrong and that the person is angry at them, they might feel like the person is being disrespectful or rude for not saying hello, maybe they feel that the person is being selfish and not caring for others. This might cause them to go on a mission to figure out why is the other not responding to them like they would want, why are they not getting "the connection" but in this pursuit of figuring out the other person usually the introvert gets just more an more put off by this intrusive behaviour. Have you ever tried to make a cat like you.. does any of the stuff you do actually work or is it that when you relax the cat will come to you when it feels ready? Everyone knows that cats are most attracted to people who are allergic and avoid approaching them. They will come right at you because you were the only one who didn't try to manipulate the situation and molest the poor cat in order to get a response,  you were just there.

The whole point in my writing is that I feel like I run constantly into premature deductions and analyses about me because people are afraid to be and let interactions just happen as they do without pushing it to a direction or another. Most people will talk and try to fill the void of no conversation and try to force a "connection" with any noises they can muster out of their mouths. Someone more sensitive, on the other hand, is the less likely to do so because there is a need for something authentic and until there is something authentic it's just better to keep quiet.