It's a tough thing to go through from the human perspective because it's scary as fuck and there seems to be no end to it. You maybe hope that it would get easier, and it does, but not the way that the human mind would imagine. It's not that at some point you suddenly start knowing again those things, like they just morph a bit into something else and you get a new and shiny awakened personality -no, not at all. Instead you start trusting and relaxing into the fact that you don't know yourself anymore, you just know that you exist. You start enjoying the freedom that not being anything in specific brings with it. You let go of the need to define yourself and allow whatever comes. You stop being just an actor in your play and realize that you are the director and audience too, and beyond. You can in fact be multiple actors fluidly changing from scene to scene without any intention, it just happens appropriately and naturally without thinking.
The trap in this is to think that when you personality and life starts to lose it's defining characteristics, the very corner stones of what you thought you were, that something has gone wrong. It's almost inevitable reaction that you try to climb on that horse again until you realize that you can't.. then of course, you feel like you have failed because people around you seem to be perfectly happy "knowing" who they are and where they they are going. In truth they are simply living in such deep unawareness and their identities and perception in such a narrow bandwidth and they are living so heavily from their past, projecting into the future that they don't see anything but a straight and narrow life, a path well traveled. They also are not what they think they are, they are actors who think they are their roles and act accordingly and it looks very logical and straight forward. The only difference between them and you who are awakening is that you are aware that you are not the role and you start to live in multiple plays simultaneously, you start to see behind the props and sets and you begin to withdraw your attention from just this singular, narrow role that you have been playing forever. They are still deeply in it and you are not. There will be temptation to look back and even to try to fit in that old costume but it won't be succesful once you have seen what you have seen.
It' not as scary as it looks at first glance. It's a relaxation back into the vaster, the more open you. You will learn that you don't need to keep actively acting, you can just sit back and the right responses come according to the situation without needing to keep on your toes. You simply enjoy the play without investments in the outcomes and you stop bothering about direction or purpose or knowing yourself.
