Tree branches fighting each other

I was drinking tea in the sofa’s by a big window and just gazing away without really focusing on anything. I was more in a contemplation on the inside than really looking at something but then something catches my eye and I see two branches of the same tree swinging towards and away from each other and it looked a little like they were fighting with each other. Then I realised that this was purely about my own impression about the situation whereas in reality it had nothing to do with fighting. The branches were just swinging around in the wind. And why would the branches of the tree fight each other? They are the same tree. Of course it made no sense whatsoever.

The situation in fact is the same on everything we look at. We look at a couple fighting and we give it a meaning. We box it and wrap it up and move to the next perception and categorise that too. Our mind does that automatically and we take it for granted that the meaning is obvious in things we see. If you have ever experienced these moments of just pure witnessing where you just observe everything without bothering to call it anything. Without trying to find a reason behind it or a relation to something that happened in the past or what could happen next. If you can spare even a minute to leave all that aside and just let your awareness be neutral of everything then even if you look at a couple fighting you will see just the phenomenal expression playing with itself. It’s just energy. Just like the branches of the tree were swinging in the air. Just because.. There is not really any considerable difference. The only difference is who are you watching it as for that is the decisive factor in which way you see everything. That in fact is where you decide if world is a horrible place that needs to be fixed and saved or if everything is just perfect the way it is. Can you unburden yourself of meaning? Because when you give anything your interpretation then you put yourself in a position where something is needed of you and you go on playing the hero while actually being the villain at the same time.

Can you spare just a minute here and there when you leave everything be as it is?
It will be worthwhile. I promise you :)

The anatomy of getting angry

Normally when we feel anger towards someone it feels like the anger is very justified and there is no reason to question it. In the story we have around this feeling it seems like the most logical thing. But when we make this assumption that anger is needed towards someone else we do not see what steps have been taken before this anger happens and why. I would like to slow it down so we can see what believes we need to hold as true in order for this anger to emerge.

Let’s take a tiny everyday example I believe many of you can easily relate to. 

Your significant one says to you “You HAVE got to buy me a christmas present because I’m buying one for you”. Maybe you think “well that feels very demanding and needy” and it leaves a uncomfortable feeling. Feeling like pressure has been put on you by this relatively insignificant thing. You start feeling like you are shrinking and getting in your mind "Now I have to go to the stores in desperate need to find something for him/her" You have no idea what to buy and you stress over it. Then there is anger that the other one would put you into this position that you have to go outside of yourself just to please their expectation.

So in order for you to get angry you need to identify yourself into a powerless position where you have to force your natural openness and flow to suit somebody else’s desires. We have the tendency to do this AUTOMATICALLY so we are never aware how it happens. That’s why we need to slow the time a bit and look at it step by step. When we do this automatic assumption that we are limited to live by somebody else’s expectation we then co-create this energy dynamic where the animal part in the unconscious says “wait a minute.. I’m bound and I want to be free again” and the anger then is the natural reaction to this flight-or-fight -situation where our body prepares to make an attempt to fight for this freedom from captivity. But this is not the jungle so we have learned to act civilised and withhold the anger and try to adjust in different ways like emotional manipulation by for example becoming a victim who says yes and plays along on the surface just to survive but is secretly looking how to exploit this situation and use it in their own advantage. This is what we know as power games and energy feeding. When the attention seems to always be outside of yourself because you are compromising and crippling yourself for someone else then you need to make sure that you are getting more out of this deal than you are putting in. That's how the game perpetuates itself and a lot of suppressed anger is collected that's always looking for it's way out.

Everything described here happens ONLY after the identification as someone who HAS TO do something for another person in order to survive (for the condition of acceptance to be fulfilled). If the identification doesn’t enter then there is no question of needing to buy that christmas present or to do anything else for that matter. If the proposal feels right then it might result in an inspiration to look for a present or maybe not. Maybe the whole thing is forgotten but somehow the present is there just at the right time.. Who knows how it will go.

So anger is energy gathered in the system to destroy the obstacles between you and your freedom so it is one of the most beautiful tools and indicators. It shows you that something is not right. Used well it can completely transform your life. Just remember that it’s never really about the other. It’s always yours and in that recognition your freedom is also.