Tree branches fighting each other

I was drinking tea in the sofa’s by a big window and just gazing away without really focusing on anything. I was more in a contemplation on the inside than really looking at something but then something catches my eye and I see two branches of the same tree swinging towards and away from each other and it looked a little like they were fighting with each other. Then I realised that this was purely about my own impression about the situation whereas in reality it had nothing to do with fighting. The branches were just swinging around in the wind. And why would the branches of the tree fight each other? They are the same tree. Of course it made no sense whatsoever.

The situation in fact is the same on everything we look at. We look at a couple fighting and we give it a meaning. We box it and wrap it up and move to the next perception and categorise that too. Our mind does that automatically and we take it for granted that the meaning is obvious in things we see. If you have ever experienced these moments of just pure witnessing where you just observe everything without bothering to call it anything. Without trying to find a reason behind it or a relation to something that happened in the past or what could happen next. If you can spare even a minute to leave all that aside and just let your awareness be neutral of everything then even if you look at a couple fighting you will see just the phenomenal expression playing with itself. It’s just energy. Just like the branches of the tree were swinging in the air. Just because.. There is not really any considerable difference. The only difference is who are you watching it as for that is the decisive factor in which way you see everything. That in fact is where you decide if world is a horrible place that needs to be fixed and saved or if everything is just perfect the way it is. Can you unburden yourself of meaning? Because when you give anything your interpretation then you put yourself in a position where something is needed of you and you go on playing the hero while actually being the villain at the same time.

Can you spare just a minute here and there when you leave everything be as it is?
It will be worthwhile. I promise you :)

The anatomy of getting angry

Normally when we feel anger towards someone it feels like the anger is very justified and there is no reason to question it. In the story we have around this feeling it seems like the most logical thing. But when we make this assumption that anger is needed towards someone else we do not see what steps have been taken before this anger happens and why. I would like to slow it down so we can see what believes we need to hold as true in order for this anger to emerge.

Let’s take a tiny everyday example I believe many of you can easily relate to. 

Your significant one says to you “You HAVE got to buy me a christmas present because I’m buying one for you”. Maybe you think “well that feels very demanding and needy” and it leaves a uncomfortable feeling. Feeling like pressure has been put on you by this relatively insignificant thing. You start feeling like you are shrinking and getting in your mind "Now I have to go to the stores in desperate need to find something for him/her" You have no idea what to buy and you stress over it. Then there is anger that the other one would put you into this position that you have to go outside of yourself just to please their expectation.

So in order for you to get angry you need to identify yourself into a powerless position where you have to force your natural openness and flow to suit somebody else’s desires. We have the tendency to do this AUTOMATICALLY so we are never aware how it happens. That’s why we need to slow the time a bit and look at it step by step. When we do this automatic assumption that we are limited to live by somebody else’s expectation we then co-create this energy dynamic where the animal part in the unconscious says “wait a minute.. I’m bound and I want to be free again” and the anger then is the natural reaction to this flight-or-fight -situation where our body prepares to make an attempt to fight for this freedom from captivity. But this is not the jungle so we have learned to act civilised and withhold the anger and try to adjust in different ways like emotional manipulation by for example becoming a victim who says yes and plays along on the surface just to survive but is secretly looking how to exploit this situation and use it in their own advantage. This is what we know as power games and energy feeding. When the attention seems to always be outside of yourself because you are compromising and crippling yourself for someone else then you need to make sure that you are getting more out of this deal than you are putting in. That's how the game perpetuates itself and a lot of suppressed anger is collected that's always looking for it's way out.

Everything described here happens ONLY after the identification as someone who HAS TO do something for another person in order to survive (for the condition of acceptance to be fulfilled). If the identification doesn’t enter then there is no question of needing to buy that christmas present or to do anything else for that matter. If the proposal feels right then it might result in an inspiration to look for a present or maybe not. Maybe the whole thing is forgotten but somehow the present is there just at the right time.. Who knows how it will go.

So anger is energy gathered in the system to destroy the obstacles between you and your freedom so it is one of the most beautiful tools and indicators. It shows you that something is not right. Used well it can completely transform your life. Just remember that it’s never really about the other. It’s always yours and in that recognition your freedom is also.

Why not caring can be the greatest gift to another?

We are taught from early on to take others into account and not hurt one another which is very good thing to teach a child. However we are taught so much to focus on others that we completely lose our sense of self, our most natural state of “I am / I exist” or more accurately it gets distorted to match other people’s expectations of you. The “I am” becomes “I am daughter/husband/veteran/teacher/priest/doctor..” . It is simply never really taught to be selfish in a good way. We all know what the normal definition of selfish is: Someone who is using others to get what they think they need to feel fulfilled. They manipulate and fight for energy in forms like respectability, money, power. We all know this as selfishness so nobody wants to be selfish (or more honestly doesn’t want others to think that they are). 

In fact everybody is selfish but they are completely denying and hiding that they are indeed manipulating other people to make themselves feel better, to fulfil their role, who they think they need to be in order to have love. Their whole focus is completely outside of themselves so they don’t even know any other way to live than to focus on helping and serving others in hopes that maybe some day someone will help and save them. This is the actual dis-ease that the whole humanity thinks the answers are outside of them. Whether in religions, green peace, science, society.. All eyes are fixed on the outside and everybody is sucking each others energy as a result.

I had a wonderful moment couple of days ago when it really crystallised for me and I saw how wonderful it can be when two people are completely selfish. They are completely just in their own energy and when they feel that the other is also just within themselves then there is a tremendous space, freedom and relaxation in the meeting that it can completely change their lives forever. One feels so utterly respected for the other does not expect anything, doesn’t want anything. Both just want to share because that’s what feels the most natural at the moment. Then the whole flow of energy is back to it’s natural state. Everything comes from within and moves outward. Everything you do has your own unique flavour. Before the energy was moving from the outside in but of course it was very limited and tight space to be in so there was not a lot of real power in anything you did. It was all based on misinformed assumptions on how energy works.

This is what true selfishness is. It not focus on the mind and the personality structure but a focus on the sense of “I am”. ONLY from that space can you truly be of ANY real service for another.

When I said that not caring can be the greatest gift to another, this is what I mean. We are no more obsessed about what is going on on the outside of ourselves and therefore the tensions of expectations and fears drop and there is no point to be anywhere than here and now. It is a state of not caring, not minding what happens, just in allowance of what is without any agenda. Everything is just fine as it is.

Funny enough but in this ultimate state of selfishness there is a great love, respect and gratefulness towards the other because you got received as you are and you got to create a beautiful moment together but without needing to compromise yourself in any way, there is no need to move outside but still everything flows to you.

What happens when you look back in time?

Usually we tend to think in terms of linear time but a funny thing happens when you reach a certain point of awakening to your awareness. You look, let’s say, 1-2 years back and you feel into who you were back then and what was going on inside you; what were your beliefs, fears, relationships, how did you feel about your life in general… It may seem like that person is lifetimes away in the past. For myself I can say that this is exactly how I feel about myself 2 years ago. It might as well be 10 000 years ago because the things I’m attracted, the way I see myself, the kinds of people I have around me and the whole perspective has shifted. Then on the other hand you might remember something that happened to you when you were 7 years old and you remember it like it happened just now. Maybe you had a glimpse of the awareness that you have now. But what’s really going on?

We are not actually that linear. We are looking “back” from the current state of consciousness towards some other states or aspects of ourselves that we are used to think as the past but when the awakening process is at the point where the mind seems to be in a chaos and all the old patterns of thinking are shaken up then we begin to see that time is not that straight forward and fixed. 

Consciousness has created time to experience itself “evolving” or rather seeing itself in all the possible states and created a story called lifetime(s) to see itself go through different experiences and reflections of itself (God created human as his own image ..and you are god also).

Another way of putting it is that you have had different frequencies in your life that you have been tuned into very singularly and that frequency has attracted and manifested certain events to take place in your life. Then you move to the next frequency and create a different set of circumstances for yourself. When you take a conscious look into all the frequencies you have been through you realise that just because you have changed the channel doesn’t mean that the channel has stopped the broadcast. It just may feel a little distant for you because you are not so attracted to country music like you once were. You don’t choose it but you realise it’s all there.

All of those parts still exist even if you are not experiencing them in the physical at the moment and if you try and drop the idea of it being in the past then you realise how much layers and dimensions you contain inside and then you can choose what you prefer without ever being stuck in one particular role. Then it becomes much more fun :)

Dimensions within:

We are living in very many levels or dimensions in every moment. We are like onions. Layer after layer of different things to be aware of. What makes it so interesting is that these dimensions are fractal by nature. I will try to explain.

When you are in a certain thought pattern you can also be aware that behind those thoughts you can find certain feelings. If you are able to be aware that they are just thoughts and not get carried away with them you immediately can “go” or rather simply move the point of attention into the feelings behind those thoughts. When your awareness is more in the feelings then the thoughts might continue but you actually start to see that those thoughts are not so important anymore compared to the first stage when you were maybe completely consumed by thought after thought that all seemed like it was the only thing that existed at the time. You can move on on your journey when you become aware of even more subtle phenomenon. Moods. You may notice that you might have had the same kind of mood for some days or some weeks even. Moods seem to have some relevance to things like the weather, the season, the moon, other people and mass consciousness.

You might start to be aware that you have more of certain kind of thoughts during certain times of the year or when the moon is full. This is how we can become aware of our multiple dimensions of existence and see how these inner dimensions and their activities can be followed with awareness from the inside to the very surface. Of course the dimensions then go towards the physical which is the most outer part of us. Those certain thoughts then become actions, words, hormones, chemicals etc.  This is the limit of our inner dimensions and there starts the interaction with the outer reality. From the surface of our being we then take in information trough the senses and carry this information back to the inner layers of our being.

It’s always said in spiritual practices to go inwards and not to stop at any point. Even if the Buddha himself came to your inner world you must cut his head and move on.

This is what this “going inwards” is referring to. When you let yourself become aware of the more subtle dimensions of yourself then eventually you have to become aware that it is your own being, your consciousness that is aware of all of these phenomenas. Then you have arrived to where the awareness is aware of it’s own existence. This is the state of “I am”. Things keep on happening on their own on the outer layers but when this is seen clearly then the awareness cannot identify as thoughts or emotions for very long time anymore. It’s like you have now a teflon surface from where everything eventually slips away. The thoughts and emotions and movements are still going on but there is something that can never completely believe the identification with them. 

Becoming aware of the inner dimensions is really like climbing higher up the mountain to see more of the scenery to be able to make better decisions concerning where to move next and which route to take. Becoming aware of more subtle levels in this fractal -system you are automatically aware of the lower ones. Not that you have to be aware of every little thing that happens in your body or mind but then you go beyond them when you see that everything comes from the inside to the outside and when you are aware of the inner layer the outer will automatically adjust itself accordingly.

This is the natural flow.

We are all crazy!

We are all crazy. We all have voices in our heads and we act according to these voices. Isn’t that exactly what we consider insane; Hearing voices in our heads and acting how ever these voices command and encourage us to do. The problem is that the average person is not aware of this amazing fact in his life at all. It’s actually considered quite normal to act in this completely out-of-touch way. We have a lot of judgements towards people who are being diagnosed and locked behind doors for this condition but what is the actual difference between an average person and a crazy person?

The crazy person seems to have just taken a little step further in interpreting these voices as somebody else’s voices. They perceive that it’s some outside voice talking to them and making them do things even though it’s their own unconscious thoughts coming out and they interpret it as somebody else’s thoughts and give them even a very specific sounding voice to make it easier to differentiate from the “normal” state.

But what about a normal “sane” person?

We also hear these voices that give us orders and without any hesitation we follow them. The only difference is that we call those voices our own thoughts. We completely and utterly identify ourselves with them. When these thoughts occur we hardly ever slow down enough to see the mechanism which is the following:

There is an outer stimulation (Somebody does/says something to you) 

..that causes a certain feeling from past experiences 

..that causes a thought from past experience (When somebody said something a little similar when you were 7 years old)

..that goes straight into a reaction, an automatic action.

Usually this happens without even considering what the person is actually saying because the emotions came so fast that the ears were shut before the other is even finished talking and the response was already loaded in the throat. So this goes on happening completely unconsciously from moment to moment, from day to day, from week to week and the story goes on.. 

I said we are crazy and that we hear voices in our heads but the only difference is that we think that it’s “me” who is thinking and acting and that there is a real reason for these “decisions” but this is just a rationalisation and a justification for the automatic tape that was ready in the player and somebody else just pushed “play”.

Looking from this perspective there is not a great difference between your average joe and an insane person. The good news is that it would be impossible for me to tell you about this if I wasn’t seeing this happening to myself. And if I was able to see this happening it means that by definition I was not the one who’s “voices” these thoughts were. 

What does that make me then? 

The one observing all the thoughts, emotions and happenings. That is my freedom and where I can decide whether a thought feels coherent and needing of action or not. This is the place beyond sanity and insanity; the place of “I exist”. Where everything comes after this feeling of purely being aware of being present. 

All it needs is one step back into what you cannot get away from.This is from where the great unfolding of this apparent life and personality is being seen from. This is also your true place or “original face” and it is all that you have ever really been. 

Isn’t that just crazy! :)

The world gone mad? What a great contrast!

I don’t think I’ve ever been as joyous as I am now. It’s quite funny because looking from my old personality there shouldn’t be any very obvious reason considering how the world is around right now (to be fair I never really believed I could be happy). The population of this planet seems to be in some kind of exaggeration mode. Every game inside the human consciousness seems to be pulled to the surface. The power games are on the big stage at the moment in the political arena almost as if it was a very strong mirror that humanity is outsourcing to the leaders to see what has been brewing on low flame for a long time on the inside. Now the water is finally bubbling and I don’t think it’s going to stop any day soon. 

…and amongst all of this crazy energy I feel good, joyous, happy even. Here is why I think it is so:

IT’S ALL JUST ENERGY. It feels good to get things moving after so much holding and this lame half-ass-insanity. Let’s bring the energy in to speed things up a little. For someone who is really awake here can feel all the craziness around and feel compassionate about it but they also understand that compassion ultimately is not interfering and making others not to play out what they want to play out, what they NEED to learn on their own. I just don’t need to choose that myself and then I can be completely open and accepting for the world to be as it is. This energy has been called forth by consciousness and is basically speeding up and amplifying the phase we need to go through and it might not be pretty to watch sometimes but by choosing freedom I am creating the vibration of the kind of earth I want to be in and that earth is what I’m here for. By not choosing the drama of the world that seems now so absolutely crystal clear all this energy actually serves me. I become the big receiver that shows by example what to do with this energy and how easy it can be when you just allow. No matter how I worry sometimes everything goes exactly right by itself.

I am here to really, truly and fully enjoy my physical existence and I am just really getting the hang of it (finally!) and in a way what a beautiful creation to live in this beauty when everything else around seems to be getting more mad all the time.. maybe just to make it so magnificently obvious that we have the power to create our own reality.

This is actually what we have been asking for so my advice to anyone is: 

Do with it what you want but make no mistake: You can and you are choosing how you let this energy serve you. Choose wisely :)